


Illegal Past Times

by SuchaPrettyPoison



Series: Swooner [5]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/M, Humor, One Shot, Romance, Swoonerverse, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8464006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchaPrettyPoison/pseuds/SuchaPrettyPoison
Summary: “You taught Thea how to pick-pocket.”Oh yes, they had been practicing that skill.“To be honest – ‘cause yay honesty - I also taught her how to pick a lock and hot-wire a car.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cause we deserved nice things!
> 
> But really, if you are new, I recommend starting at the beginning of the Swooner series. If you are a fan of being reckless and jumping into things feet first, welcome!
> 
> Things to know:  
> Felicity was raised by her father, who is wanted by authorities, made for an interesting childhood.  
> Oliver is a detective.  
> The first time they met Felicity stole his wallet.

She just couldn’t help herself. Yes, she had only really tried to stop her impulse for like two-point- three seconds, but that was way longer than she’d ever tried before. Before, if she wanted to do some illegal computerness (actually any non-violent illegalness), she just did it, without a second thought. Now, she was starting to actually think if she should.  
Damn, domestic life was really changing her.  
And by domestic life, she meant living with a Star city detective who had this weird thing about her following the law most of the time.

Well, he should know by now, that’s not the woman he fell in love with. Felicity was all about using her skills to help, I mean, she had them, wasn’t it her civic duty and all that to use her powers for good. Oh, she would make such a badass superhero, as long as she didn’t have to do the whole running thing. Oliver thought that doing couple’s jogging first thing in the morning would be a nice way for them to both stay healthy and it was something they could do together.  
Oliver was wrong.  
So, so, so very wrong. After half a mile she tapped out. Felicity was game for working out, as long as it didn’t involve running or it being first thing in the morning.

Ada Lovelace, she needed to be back on track. She needed all of her wits about her mainly because Oliver looked really rather pissed off. It was rare to see him in a pissed off state, the man was as steady as they came, which was excellent, because her stability was called into question multiple times a day.

Okay, but she should really just not say anything until he decided to speak.  
Like, yes, had she gone behind his back and hacked his work computer to find out what was causing him so much stress? Of course she did! She wanted to help. Being a good partner meant helping your partner when they were having a difficult time! She was being helpful!  
He was able to solve his case thanks to her interfering, they should be celebrating with sexy times, not having him doing his panther pacing in front of her as she sat on the couch just watching him.

“Babe?” She decided that she was going to speak. The silence was killing her.

“Don’t.”

Clipped annoyed voice.  
How had he found out? She was world class, definite top ten – probably top five, when it came to hacking. No one at the station should have even been able to detect her; she was a fraking ghost.  
Explain. He wouldn’t be upset if she explained. He was all about them needing to have communication skills and not keeping things from each other. This was probably him all angry she hadn’t told him.

“Look, I had to do it. You were coming home later and later and the bags under your eyes and your finger was doing the stress rubbing tick thing. I had to hack into your work computer for your own good. I have skills, my skills come in damn handy when it comes to finding people. Like you don’t even know how many sleepless nights I spent making sure your military missions went off well. Time differences are the worst. So, yes, I did bad by hacking your personal work computer remotely from home and then not telling you that I was aiding in the investigation.”

“You did what?”

Okay, so maybe he hadn’t known about that. Now he did though. Also, she was still a fraking ghost, he had her worried there for a minute that she’d become sloppy. She probably shouldn’t be so happy about the fact that she hadn’t been caught.  
Time to really be silent.

Oliver was looking at her with an incredulous expression and she pulled in her lips giving him wide-eyed helpless stare, which would do nothing. The man was immune to her cute looks. He knew her too well to ever think that she would be helpless.

“Felicity?”

“I love you.” She said with a smile, and she could almost swear that he was fighting back one of his own. He had been waggling his pointer finger in the you-got-me-way, now he had both hands out with his fingers stretched open like he didn’t exactly know if he wanted to strangle her or kiss her.

“We need to talk to the captain.”

“I am not going to jail.” There was hysteria that tinged her voice, she wasn’t proud to admit it, but Felicity slipped into the mindset that she was still living a life on the run. Not run so much, as the fact that when good ole daddy was on the top of several most wanted list, you didn’t spend long in one place, and as an adult, she kept that up. No one wanted her around, because where she went – trouble followed.

Oliver didn’t seem to care about any of that. So, why in the world was he talking about taking her to see his captain?  
She’d done way worse things and he’d never talked about bringing her in. Sure, the only reason he had gotten her name was because she was dragged in to a police interrogation room, but that had been a one off thing surely.

He was shaking his head as he came to crouch in front of her while she sat rigid on the couch, this took away his impressive height, and he took her clammy hands in his as he spoke, “No, we are going to get you a job. Your talents are being wasted as an IT girl, plus, you clearly are going to help one way or the other. Let’s have you working mostly in the law, for my peace of mind.”

Wait.  
Wait.  
Brain was having issues processing.  
He wanted her to work with the police? With the man? With the law?

“You want me to work with the police?” There was more incredulity in her voice than she would have thought possible and she was looking at Oliver like he had just grown a second head, along with wings and a tail, and was now asking her to call him Sir Chats-a-lot.

Okay, she could easily see why he wanted her to work with him, while working for the police. She’d actually be putting her super powers (a.k.a. her badass illegally honed skills) to good use, and making the world a better place. It would be better than answering IT help calls. But they wouldn’t want her.

“Yeah, I never thought I’d say that either.” Oliver was smiling at her, it wasn’t fair what his smile could do to her. Clearly he was loving the idea of them working together in an official capacity.

“Sure, this sounds like a brilliant idea. I’m sure the captain will just jump at the bit to hire me on once he learns who I am.”

“He’d be stupid to let you go, and the man is not stupid.” He said with such a final certainty, that Felicity began thinking that it was possible. And that thought process was not one that she was willing to go down, because it would be life altering and she wasn’t ready to even think how it would be.  
She needed a subject change.  
Also, why was he so agitated before if it hadn’t been with her little hacking moment?  
Questions much be answered.

“Uh huh. Now, to get off this subject of working for the law, let’s put me back on the chopping block so that you can tell me why you were doing the angry towering pacing.” Felicity asked with more sweetness than was necessary.

Oliver’s smile became dangerous. He drew himself back up to his full height.  
Ada Lovelace, what had she done to warrant that kind of response?

“You taught Thea how to pick-pocket.”

Oh yes, they had been practicing that skill.

“To be honest – ‘cause yay honesty - I also taught her how to pick a lock and hot-wire a car.”

XxX

“Now, I’m not saying that you should quit your day job, mainly because Oliver would kill me, but you are a natural. Are you positive that you’ve led the clean and narrow life?” Felicity smiled broadly as Thea handed her back her wallet which she’d seamlessly swiped while saying their hellos.

It shouldn’t make Felicity so pleased that Thea had taken the whole pick-pocketing thing like a fish to water, but it so totally did. Felicity was bonding with Oliver’s sister, and she liked having a girl who she felt comfortable with in her life. It had always just been her and her dad, and she had lived a life of lies, half-truths, and smokescreens. She could just be herself with Thea and Thea actually seemed to like her.  
She didn’t judge Felicity, there was no watchful eye ready to pick apart her every action. No, Thea thought she was funny and smart and liked her for herself. The damn Queen siblings were a force to be reckoned with.

“Thanks. Oh, Ollie might get some news about me. There was a bit of an incident yesterday, that may have involved his car. I was practicing on it, I have his spare key and he knew I was borrowing the car, he just didn’t know that I wasn’t actually using the key. Anyways, I was in the Glades and this guy in a red hoodie just jumps into the passenger seat and told me to drive, which I was not about to do. Then these masked men came running around the corner with guns drawn, he’s cursing and yelling at me to floor it. Which I do, because masked men with guns. Only, then to get pulled over by a cop. The got out of that by dropping Ollie’s name and badge number. Do I tell them the fact that Mr. Red Hoodie just made me into his getaway driver? No. Why? I don’t know. Mr. Red Hoodie ends up jumping out of the car at a red light and disappeared. I did manage to get his wallet though. His name is Roy and he has not seen the last of Thea Queen.”

Thea was glowing. Glowing. Eyes bright, face slightly flushed. Glowing.  
Ada fracking Lovelace.

“Ada fracking Lovelace.”

Felicity had just seen the bright light and was trying in vain to tamp down her excitement. That was a more insane story than any of her and Oliver’s; well, maybe neck and neck with some of them. Still, it was nice to know that she was not a full fledge oddity in the world, and this really just solidified the fact that she found her people. The Queen siblings were hers and she was never going to give them back.  
Wow, that didn’t sound creepy or possessive at all.

“What?” Thea asked as she took a delicate sip of her latte, as though she hadn’t just told a story about being a getaway driver or stolen a guy’s wallet. She was cool, calm, and put together on a hip level that Felicity didn’t think she’d ever be able to master.

“So, this is what it’s like being on the other side of one of these stories. This is new for me. Most times I’m having to tell a story of a ridiculous encounter that I had with Oliver, but this might beat mine.”

Thea gave her an eye roll combined with a perfectly bored face at Felicity’s words, “But your story also has you guys being chocolate covered potato chips.”

“It also has stealing each other’s items multiple times; it’s how we flirted.” Felicity pulled in her lips, her brows knitting while Thea gave her a placating smile. She knew nothing about normal. Luckily normal wasn’t one of the key terms in her relationship with Oliver. They were just themselves and it happened to work. “Okay, maybe I’m not the best person at love advise, this is just hitting me now.”

“Good thing I didn’t tell you the story to get love advise; just wanted to give you a heads up, incase Oliver is extra grumpy.” Thea said with a bright smile and a slight shrug of her delicate shoulder, clear indication that she wanted the matter dropped. Felicity could relate to that feeling. She denied feeling anything for Oliver for years, so she had no room to talk and was all about dropping the matter.

“Noted. Now, we need to fuel up. Then we’ll do some practicing.”

XxX

Alright, that coffee had been just yesterday, clearly something had clued Oliver to the fact that she and his sister weren’t just sitting around gossiping. But these were life skills that Felicity was teaching Thea. Things that every girl should know! Well, things that everyone should know, because you never know what life has in store for you.

There had been a time when Felicity had to break into a car and hot-wire it to get away from some goons that were after her father; naturally they figured going after her was the best plan. It never was. Why they kept trying, Felicity didn’t really know. Well, she did, she just thought it was stupid. Any ways, these were skills that kept her alive. If Thea wanted to learn, she was more than happy to teach her. If she had kids one day, they were skills she planned on teaching them.

The world was too unpredictable, and she liked to be as prepared as possible for what might come her way. She was never prepared for Oliver Queen though, the bastard. He was quite possibly the love of her life, and she really had not seen him coming at all. The blasted man had ruined her plan of becoming a crazy computer lady, who just horded all possible computer parts she could find and wouldn’t see the light of day for months on end.  
This was a better life.

Even when he was annoyed with her.

“Why on Earth would you teach her those things?”

“Because she’s an adult and she wanted to learn. I’m really not seeing the whole big deal thing here.” Felicity really didn’t. He was cool with her hacking but wasn’t cool with her teaching Thea skills that both her and Oliver had? It made no sense. She’d been fully prepared for him to half bite her head off about her illegal past time, but this was absurd and was a battle she was intent on winning.

“She’s my little sister.” Oliver half growled out is a tone that was full attitude.

That got Felicity on her feet and on the couch. She needed to out tall the man, show him that she meant business and that he wasn’t going to win this based off of who was taller.

“And? She’s an adult, who wanted to learn, it was a way for us to bond. It’s not like she’s hurting anyone or robbing banks. You and I have both done worse things. How did you find out anyways?” Felicity asked and Oliver advanced. The added height of the couch made her taller so that she had to look down to meet his eyes.

The man was a predator in every sense of the word.

“She stole the wallet of one of the junior undercovers we have at the station. It was a shit storm. he got his cover blown, my car was involved, and I had to smooth things over.”

Oh, this sounded slightly familiar.

“You wouldn’t happen to be talking about Roy, would you?”

The look he gave her that clearly indicated that he was talking about Roy and he wanted to know how she knew about Roy. She could talk or she could remain silent or she could maybe run. He had her trapped though. His hands had found their way to either side of her hips and he held her on the couch like an anchor.  
She couldn’t understand why he was so upset with her.  
She didn’t like him upset with her, but she still didn’t see what she’d done wrong.

Keeping her hands firmly at her side, she let out a deep breath. Communication, “I don’t understand why you are angry. It makes no logical sense in my mind. I can get that you might be annoyed, but all those skills are a part of what makes me - me, so I don’t get why you’d be so upset about me teaching Thea. So, there was a shit storm, life gives us shit storms all the time, but again, I don’t see where the whole growly Oliver is coming from.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

Light bulb, “Oh.”

“I don’t need you report every single thing that you do to me, I don’t want that. But I would like to know that you are teaching my sister an illegal skill set. We would have fought about it, and you would have gotten me to come around, because even though I am stubborn if it makes you or Thea happy I will probably give in.” And he would. All the fierceness had left his face, and she knew he was trying to get her to understand where he was coming from.

“Oliver.”

“Yes?”

“I’m teaching Thea how to pick-pocket, pick locks, and hot-wire a car. She hasn’t asked about hacking, but she’s really good at the other things, and she’s so proud of herself. Also, we’re like friends. Like, she’s one of the only people besides you and John who actually know me, and she doesn’t judge me. It’s nice.” These people liked her for who she was. This was new for her, a first, and she was finding that it was addictive.

“I really don’t want her having an illegal past time.”

“It’s not up to you.” Felicity said in a soft tone.

Oliver let out a growl of annoyed acceptance and placed his forehead just under her breast while pulling her hips flush against his chest, and she moved her hands to his hair. He was all bark and no bite, but she was in the wrong for the whole not telling him thing.  
They both had their faults.

“I am sorry for not telling you. So, you can be grumbly at me for that, but I think I have a way to make it up to you.”

“I’m listening.”

“I won’t veto watching WWE in the loft for the next month.”

“And we can go to a match?”  Oliver asked in a light tone; he knew he was pushing his luck.  Felicity pinched her face together. The man just loved getting her to go to sporting events.

Wait.  Had he talked to Thea about any of this or came straight to talk to Felicity?  Because she wanted to put down money on the fact that he probably lectured Thea.  
The question needed to be answered.

“Possibly. Did you talk to Thea?  Or should I say did you talk at Thea?"

Oliver pushed his body closer to hers, and she had her answer.  
He totally talked at Thea.  
For someone who pushed communication, he really did just like to talk at people half the time.

She was going to see about getting a job with the police where she'd get to make a positive difference, she was going to continue to teach Thea illegal skills, and every day she was going to fall more in love with the stubborn man who was currently latched on to her like a kola.  Felicity didn't know what life had in store for her, but she was damn excited to find out.

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty Swooners! So, we needed this.  
> I needed something light and fun, which means that you all get something light and fun. Nothing is more fun than writing for the Swoonerverse!
> 
> Won't lie, I am half tempted to write a Thea/Roy story, but I know the rabbit whole that I would go down with it. Still, they may pop up a bit...cause I can do what I want.
> 
> This all stemmed from the last part of the series, and I wanted Felicity to bond with someone other than Oliver also wanted to get in the whole how she gets to work with the police. She's still working on communicating. Oliver is still over protective, but they are working on getting it right!
> 
> Just a quick little story!
> 
> Please let me know what you think!  
> I hope I have not failed this story!
> 
> tumblr: [SuchaPrettyPoison](http://www.suchaprettypoison.tumblr.com/)  
> twitter: [SamyRed_](https://twitter.com/SamyRed_)


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